❁♡❥❇ طنز و نطنز ((من)) 7❇❥♡❁

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ﺑﻌﻀﯽ ﭘﺴﺮﺍﻡ ﻫﺴﺘﻦ ﮐﻪ ﺩﯾﮕﻪ ﺍﺳﺐ ﺳﻔﯿﺪ ﺑﺮﺍﺷﻮﻥ ﮐﻔﺎﻑ ﻧﻤﯿﺪﻩ....



ﺑﺎﯾﺪ ﺍﺗﻮﺑﻮﺱ ﺩﺭﺑﺴﺖ ﺑﮕﯿﺮﻥ ﯾﮑﯽ ﯾﮑﯽ ﺩﺧﺘﺮﺍﯼ ﺭﻭﯾﺎﻫﺎﺷﻮﻥ ﺭﻭ ﺟﻤﻊ ﮐﻨﻦ...o_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_O



ﻻ‌ﻣﺼﺐ ﺩﻝ ﻧﯿﺴﺖ ﮐﻪ....ﮔﺎﺭﺍﮊ ﺣﺎﺝ ﺗﻘﯽ ﻭ ﺑﺮﺍﺩﺭﺍﻧﻪ ﺑﻪ ﺟﺰ ﮐﺮﯾﻢ....

 

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ﺁﯾﺎ ﻣﯽ ﺩﺍﻧﺴﺘﯿﺪ ﮐﻪ ﺍﻭﻥ ﺯﻧﯽ ﮐﻪ ﺑﺮﺍﯼ ﺍﻭﻟﯿﻦ ﺑﺎﺭ ﻋﺒﺎﺭﺕ....


" ﻣﺮﺩﺍ ﻫﻤﻪ ﻣﺜﻞ ﻫﻤﻦ..."

ﺭﻭ ﯾﻪ ﺯﻥ ﭼﯿﻨﯽ ﺑﻪ ﮐﺎﺭ ﺑـﺮﺩﻩ ﺑﻮﺩ ﮐﻪ ﺷﻮﻫﺮﺵ ﺭﻭ ﺗﻮﯼ ﺑﺎﺯﺍﺭ ﮔﻢ ﮐﺮﺩﻩ ﺑﻮﺩ؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟
HapydancsmilHapydancsmilHapydancsmilHapydancsmilHapydancsmilHapydancsmilHapydancsmil

 

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ﺷﺐ ﻋﺮﻭﺳﯽ ﺩﺧﺘﺮﻩ ﻓﺎﻣﯿﻼ‌ﯼ ﻋﺮﻭﺱ ﻣﯿﺨﻮﻧﺪﻥ


- ﻧﻮﻥ ﻭ ﭘﻨﯿﺮ ﻭ ﻧﻌﻨﺎ....ﻣﺎﺩﺭ ﻋﺮﻭﺱ ﺷﺪ ﺗﻨﻬﺎ.....:aiwan_light_cray::aiwan_light_cray::aiwan_light_cray::aiwan_light_cray::aiwan_light_cray::aiwan_light_cray::aiwan_light_cray:


ﭘﺪﺭ ﻋﺮﻭﺱ ﺍﺯ ﺗﻪ ﺧﻮﻧﻪ ﺩﺍﺩ ﻣﯿﺰﺩ ﻣﯿﮕﻔﺖ


- ﻧﻮﻥ ﻭ ﭘﻨﯿﺮ ﻭ ﭘﻮﻧﻪ...ﭘﺲ ﻣﻦ ﺧﺮﻡ ﺗﻮ ﺧﻮﻧﻪ؟؟؟؟؟؟؟

 

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ﺍﯾﻦ ﻣﻬﺮﯾﻪ ﻫﺎﯼ ﭼﻨﺪ ﻫﺰﺍﺭ ﺳﮑﻪ ﺍﯼ ﺑﯿﺸﺘﺮ ﺍﺯ ﺍﯾﻨﮑﻪ ﻧﺸﻮﻥ ﺩﻫﻨﺪﻩ ﺍﺭﺯﺵ ﺩﺧﺘﺮ ﺑﺎﺷﻪ ﻧﺸﻮﻥ ﺩﻫﻨﺪﻩ ﺍﯾﻨﻪ ﮐﻪ ﻣﯿﮕﻦ...




" ﺟﻨﺲ ﻓﺮﻭﺧﺘﻪ ﺷﺪﻩ ﭘﺲ ﮔﺮﻓﺘﻪ ﻧﻤﯿﺸﻮﺩ"

 

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ﺧﺎﻧﻤﻪ ﺗﻮ ﭘﺮﻭﻓﺎﯾﻠﺶ ﻋﮑﺲ ﭼﻨﺪﺗﺎ ﮔﻞ ﺭﻭ ﮔﺬﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﻭ ﻧﻮﺷﺘﻪ ﺁﻗﺎﻣﻮﻥ ﻏﯿﺮﺗﯿﻪ ﮔﻔﺘﻪ ﻋﮑﺴﺘﻮ ﻧﺬﺍﺭ...




ﺷﻮﻫﺮﺵ ﺑﺮﺍﺵ ﮐﺎﻣﻨﺖ ﮔﺬﺍﺷﺘﻪ ﺍﻗﺪﺱ ﺗﻮ ﺧﻮﺩﺕ ﺧﺠﺎﻟﺖ ﻣﯿﮑﺸﯽ ﺑﺎ 45 ﺳﺎﻝ ﺳﻨﻮ 120 ﮐﯿﻠﻮ ﻭﺯﻥ ﻋﮑﺴﺘﻮ ﺑﺬﺍﺭﯼ ﺩﯾﮕﻪ ﭼﺮﺍ ﭘﺎﯼ ﻣﻨﻮ ﻭﺳﻂ ﻣﯿﮑﺸﯽ؟؟؟؟؟

 

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ﺳﻪ ﺟﻤﻠﻪ ﮐﻪ ﺍﺣﺴﺎﺱ ﺯﻧﺎﻥ ﺭﺍ ﻣﺘﺤﻮﻝ ﻣﯿﮑﻨﺪ...



1- ﺩﻭﺳﺖ ﺩﺍﺭﻡ...

2- ﺭﯾﺨﺘﻢ ﺑﻪ ﺣﺴﺎﺑﺖ...

3- ﭼﻘﺪﺭ ﻻ‌ﻏﺮﯼ...


ﺍﯾﻦ ﺁﺧﺮﯼ ﮐﺸﺘﻪ ﻫﻢ ﺩﺍﺩﻩ....

 

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ﺩﯾﺸﺐ ﮐﻞ ﺧﺎﻧﻮﺍﺩﻩ ﺩﻭﺭ ﻫﻢ ﺟﻤﻊ ﺷﺪﻩ ﺑﻮﺩﯾﻢ...ﺩﺍﺷﺘﯿﻢ ﺗﻠﻮﯾﺰﯾﻮﻥ ﻣﯿﺪﯾﺪﻡ ﮐﻪ ﯾﻬﻮ ﯾﻪ ﺑﭽﻪ ﺭﻭ ﻧﺸﻮﻥ ﺩﺍﺩ ﮐﻪ ﭘﺴﺘﻮﻧﮏ ﺗﻮ ﺩﻫﻨﺶ ﺑﻮﺩ...ﺑﺎﺑﺎﻡ ﯾﻬﻮ ﺯﺩ ﺯﯾﺮ ﺧﻨﺪﻩ...ﮔﻔﺘﻢ ﭼﺮﺍ ﻣﯿﺨﻨﺪﯼ؟؟؟؟؟
ﮔﻔﺖ ﯾﺎﺩ ﺑﭽﮕﯿﺎﺕ ﺍﻓﺘﺎﺩﻡ...ﻫﺮ ﻭﻗﺖ ﮔﺮﯾﻪ ﻣﯿﮑﺮﺩﯼ ﺷﺼﺖ ﭘﺎﻣﻮ ﻣﯿﮑﺮﺩﻡ ﺗﻮ ﺣﻠﻘﺖ...ﭼﻮﻥ ﺷﻮﺭ ﺑﻮﺩ ﺧﻮﺷﺖ ﻣﯿﻮﻣﺪ ﺳﺎﮐﺖ ﻣﯿﺸﺪﯼ...





ﺧﺪﺍ ﺷﺎﻫﺪﻩ 3 ﺳﺎﻋﺖ ﺗﻮ ﺗﻮﺍﻟﺖ ﺑﺎﻻ‌ ﺁﻭﺭﺩﻡ....ﭘﺪﺭ ﻧﯿﺴﺖ ﮐﻪ...ﭼﻨﮕﯿﺰ ﺧﺎﻥ ﻣﻐﻮﻟﻪ...

 

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ﺩﻗﺖ ﮐﺮﺩﯾﻦ ﻣﯿﺮﯼ ﺯﯾﺮﺑﺎﺭﻭﻥ ﺩﻫﻨﺘﻮ ﻣﺚ ﮐﺮﻭﮐﺪﯾﻞ ﺑﺎﺯ ﻣﯿﮑﻨﯽ ﮐﻪ ﯾﻪ ﻗﻄﺮﻩ ﺑﺎﺭﻭﻥ ﺑﺮﻩ ﺗﻮﺩﻫﻨﺖ،ﻧﻤﯿﺮﻩ…
ﺣﺎﻻ‌ ﺩﺍﺭﯼ ﺑﺎﯾﮑﯽ ﺻﺤﺒﺖ ﻣﯿﮑﻨﯽ،ﯾﻪ ﺗﻒ ﮐﻮﭼﻮﻟﻮ ﺍﺯﺩﻫﻨﺶ ﻣﯿﺎﺩ ﺑﯿﺮﻭﻥ ﺻﺎﻑ ﻣﯿﺮﻩ ﺗﻮ ﻟﻮﺯﻭﺍﻟﻤﻌﺪﺕ

 

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ﭘﺴﺮ: ﺑﺎﺑﺎ ﻭﺍﺳﻢ ﺩﻭﭼﺮﺧﻪ ﻣﻴﺨﺮﻱ؟
ﺑﺎﺑﺎ:ﺍﮔﻪ ﺷﻴﻄﻮﻧﻲ ﻧﮑﻨﻲ،
ﺑﻪ ﺣﺮﻓﻢ ﮔﻮﺵ ﮐﻨﻲ،
ﺯﯾﺎﺩ ﺑﺎ ﮐﺎﻣﭙﻴﻮﺗﺮﺑﺎﺯﻱ ﻧﮑﻨﻲ،
ﻣﺴﻮﺍﮎ ﺑﺰﻧﻲ،
ﻣﻌﺪﻟﺖ ﻫﻢ ﺑﯿﺴﺖ ﺷﻪ ﻭﺍﺳﺖ ﻣﯽ ﺧﺮﻡ!
ﭘﺴﺮ: ﻣﻴﺨﻮﺍﻱ ﺗﺤﺮﯾﻢ ﻫﺎﯼ ﺁﻣﺮﯾﮑﺎ ﻋﻠﯿﻪ ﺍﯾﺮﺍﻥ ﺭﻭ ﻫﻢ ﻭﺭﺩﺍﺭﻡ؟!

 

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ﺑﻪ ﻣﺎﻣﺎﻧﻢ ﻣﯿﮕﻢ : ﺳﺮﻡ ﺩﺭﺩ ﻣﯿﮑﻨﻪ !
ﻣﯿﮕﻪ : ﭼﺮﺍ ؟
ﻣﯿﮕﻢ : ﺷﺎﯾﺪ ﺗﻮﻣﻮﺭ ﻣﻐﺰﯼ ﺩﺍﺭﻡ
ﻡ?ﮔـﻪ : ﺧﻔﻪ ﺷﻮ ﺫﻟﯿﻞ ﻣﺮﺩﻩ ، ﺍﻟﻬﯽ ﺯﺑﻮﻧﺖ ﻻ‌ﻝ ﺷﻪ ،ﺳﺮ ﺗﺨﺘﻪ ﺑﺸﻮﺭﻧﺖ ، ﺑﻤﯿﺮﯼ ﺑﺎ ﺍﻭﻥ ﺣﺮﻑ ﺯﺩﻧﺖ
ﻣﻨﻈﻮﺭﺵ ﺍﯾﻨﻪ ﮐﻪ
ﺧﺪﺍ ﻧﮑﻨﻪ ﻋﺰﯾﺰﻡ!