همگانی جملات کاربردی انگلیسی | کاربران نگاه

[dr.javaheri]

Mrs Jenkins was the owner of a small restaurant in Southampton. Southampton is a big port. Mrs Jenkins had two young waitresses and a cook to help her.

One day a sailor came into the restaurant, sat down at one of the tables, ordered what he wanted from the waitress and then got up and left again after a few minutes. The owner of the restaurant was surprised when she saw this, so she called the waitress and asked her why the man had left before having his meal.

"Well," the waitress answered, "he asked for some of our fried rabbit, and when I went out into the kitchen to order it from the cook, the cat was just on the other side of the door and I stepped on its tail by mistake. It made a terrible noise, of course, and then the man got up from his table and went out very quickly."

 

[dr.javaheri]

There is a prison in Iceland which allows its prisoners to go out without any guards to work every day. They work on the farms near the prison during the day, and come back to have their evening meal and to sleep every evening. Before they are allowed to go out like this, they have to promise to come back every evening. If they do not promise this, they are not let out.

One night one of the prisoners was invited to have a meal and a drink with the family of the farmer he was working for, so he came back to the prison very late. He had to knock at the gate several times before the guard came to let him in.

The guard did not like being disturbed at this time, so he said to the prisoner angrily, "If you come back so late again, I won't let you in."

 

[dr.javaheri]

Mary's mother was nearly seventy, and Mary and her husband wanted to give the old lady a nice birthday present. She liked drinking tea, so Mary ordered an electric machine which made the tea and then woke you up in the morning. She wrapped it up in pretty paper and brought it to her mother on her birthday. Then her mother opened the package. Mary showed her how to use it.

"Before you go to bed, put the tea in the pot and the water in the kettle," she explained to the old lady, "and don't forget to switch the electricity on. Then, when you wake up in the morning, your tea will be ready."

After a few days, Mary's mother rang up and said, "Perhaps I'm being rather silly, but there's one thing I'm confused about: why do I have to go to bed to make the tea?"

 

[dr.javaheri]

Peter was 10 years old, and he was having painting lessons every week at a small private class.

During the Christmas holidays, he had a party at his home, and he wanted to invite one of the other students, but he only knew her name - Cefia Poe. He did not know her address or her telephone number.

Peter's mother looked in the telephone book and said, "Well, there are only four Poes here, so I'll telephone each of them and ask whether they have a daughter who has painting lessons."

She telephoned the first one, and the telephone rang for rather a long time before a woman answered. Peter's mother said, "Excuse me. Is that the Mrs Poe who has a daughter who takes painting lessons?"

"No, it isn't," the woman answered. "This is the Mrs Poe who had to get out of her bath to answer the telephone!"

 

[dr.javaheri]

Peter was 10 years old, and he was having painting lessons every week at a small private class.

During the Christmas holidays, he had a party at his home, and he wanted to invite one of the other students, but he only knew her name - Cefia Poe. He did not know her address or her telephone number.

Peter's mother looked in the telephone book and said, "Well, there are only four Poes here, so I'll telephone each of them and ask whether they have a daughter who has painting lessons."

She telephoned the first one, and the telephone rang for rather a long time before a woman answered. Peter's mother said, "Excuse me. Is that the Mrs Poe who has a daughter who takes painting lessons?"

"No, it isn't," the woman answered. "This is the Mrs Poe who had to get out of her bath to answer the telephone!"

 

[dr.javaheri]

Peter was 10 years old, and he was having painting lessons every week at a small private class.

During the Christmas holidays, he had a party at his home, and he wanted to invite one of the other students, but he only knew her name - Cefia Poe. He did not know her address or her telephone number.

Peter's mother looked in the telephone book and said, "Well, there are only four Poes here, so I'll telephone each of them and ask whether they have a daughter who has painting lessons."

She telephoned the first one, and the telephone rang for rather a long time before a woman answered. Peter's mother said, "Excuse me. Is that the Mrs Poe who has a daughter who takes painting lessons?"

"No, it isn't," the woman answered. "This is the Mrs Poe who had to get out of her bath to answer the telephone!"

 

[dr.javaheri]

Mr Grey was the manager of a small office in London. He lived in the country, and came up to work by train. He liked walking from the station to his office unless it was raining, because it gave him some exercise.

One morning he was walking along the street when a stranger stopped him and said to him, "You may not remember me, sir, but seven years ago I came to London without a penny in my pockets. I stopped you in this street and asked you to lend me some money, and you lent me five pounds, because you said that you were willing to take a chance so as to give a man a start on the road to success."

Mr Grey thought for a few moments and then said, "Yes, I remember you. Go on with your story."

"Well," answered the stranger, "are you still willing to take a chance

 

[dr.javaheri]

During the Second World War it was difficult to travel by plane, because the seats were needed for important government and army people.

Mr Brown worked for the government during the war. He was a civilian, and he was doing very secret work, so nobody was allowed to know how important he was except a very few people.

One day he had to fly to Edinburgh to give a lecture to a few top people there, but an important army officer came to the airport at the last minute, and Mr Brown's seat was given to him, so he was not able to fly to the city to give his lecture.

It was not until he reached the city that the important officer discovered that the man whose seat he had taken was the one whose lecture he had flown to the city to hear.

 

[dr.javaheri]

Peter Judd joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting. One day he and his friends were practising their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter. After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, "You're quite hopeless, Peter! Don't waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!"

Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot.

"Heavens!" the officer said. "Has that silly man really shot himself?"

He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. "I'm sorry, sir," he said, "but I missed again

 

[dr.javaheri]

Mr Richards worked in a small seaside town, and he and his wife had a comfortable house near the sea. During the winter they were quite happy there, but every summer a lot of their relatives used to want to come and stay with them, because it was a nice place for a holiday, and it was much cheaper than staying in a hotel.

Finally one June Mr Richards complained to an intelligent friend of his who lived in the same place. "One of my wife's cousins intends to bring her husband and children and spend ten days with us next month again. How do you prevent all your relatives coming to live with you in the summer?"

"Oh," the friend answered, "that isn't difficult. I just borrow money from all the rich ones, and lend it to all the poor ones. After that, none of them come again."