همگانی جملات کاربردی انگلیسی | کاربران نگاه

[dr.javaheri]

When Mr Andrews left university, he got a good job in a big oil company, but after he had been there for a few years, he decided that he would like a change. He also wanted to get a more important position, so that he could get more money, and perhaps also do more interesting work, so he put an advertisement in several newspapers, saying what experience he had had, describing the kind of job he had at that time and the kind he would like to have.

One of the answers he received was from another man who was looking for a job too. This man wrote to him, "Dear Sir, When you get a new job. Please be kind enough to give my name and address to your present employer, as I have been trying to find a position like yours for a long time."

 

[dr.javaheri]

Mary was a university student. She did not have very much money, and her parents were not rich, but she had a uncle who had been fortunate enough to collect great wealth. He had no children, and Mary was his favourite niece, so he always gave her valuable Christmas and birthday presents.

When her Uncle George's birthday came round, Mary wanted to buy him something really special, but because he was so wealthy, she did not know what to get him. She went into the best shop in her town and explained what her problem was to one of the helpful young shop assistants.

Finally Mary said to her, "I suppose this isn't the first time anybody has come to you with this problem. What do you have for someone who's already got everything he wants or needs?"

The girl sighed deeply and answered, "Envy Only envy

 

[dr.javaheri]

Miss Richards was a teacher at a school for boys and girls, She taught chemistry and physics from the lowest to the highest classes in the school. Sometimes the new classes learnt rapidly, but sometimes they were very slow, and then Miss Richards had to repeat things many times.

One year, the first class had been studying chemistry for several weeks when Miss Richards suddenly asked, "What is water? Who knows? Hands up!"

There was silence for a few seconds, and Miss Richards felt saddened, but then one boy raised his hand.
"Yes, Dick?" said Miss Richards encouragingly. He was not one of brightest children in the class, so she was glad that he could answer.
"Water is a liquid which has no colour until you wash your hands in it, Miss. Then it turns black," the boy replied with great confidence.

 

[dr.javaheri]

George was a newspaper reporter who worked for a small local newspaper in a country town. Nothing much ever happened there.

One day George's boss sent for him

"George," he said, "James bright is making a speech at the Town Hall tonight. I want you to go and report on it for us."

"James Bright?" said George. "He's terrible old fool. He never says anything worth reporting."

"Bright is our best-known local politician," said the boss. "We'll have to print a report on that speech."

So George went to the meeting and bright spoke for two hours without stopping. When George got back to the office at last, the boss was waiting for him.

"Well, George," he said. "What did the old man say?"

"Absolutely nothing." said George.

The boss wasn't surprised. "All right, George," he said, "You'd better not write more than two and a half columns on it."

 

[dr.javaheri]

While Mrs Edwards was in town one Saturday, she saw a crash in an avenue: two cars ran into each other. The drivers got out, and an argument arose between them, but then a policeman arrived. He asked the drivers what has happened, and then he turned to the crowd which had collected round and said, "Did anyone see the accident?" Several people said they had, and Mrs Edwards was one of them.

A week later she was asked whether she was willing to be a witness in a court case concerning the accident, and she said she was; and a month later, a lawyer was questioning her in court. She began everything with, "I think that . . . ," until the lawyer got angry and said, "You're not here to say what you think: you're here to say what you know."

"I'm sorry," objected Mrs Edwards, "but I'm not a lawyer, so I can't say things without thinking."

 

[dr.javaheri]

During World War Two, a lot a young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot a men, officers and soldiers.

One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance, He said to her, "I'm going abroad tomorrow, but I'd be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.

Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I've come to visit Captain Humphreys."

"Only relative are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.

"Oh, that's all right," answered Joan. "I'm his sister."

"I'm very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I'm his mother

 

[dr.javaheri]

Mrs Black was old and rich. She lived in a splendid house and owned a lot of valuable things. Then she died, and there was a big funeral. Notices were sent out to relative and friends, and they came from far and near to attend the funeral.

The service took place in Mrs Black's old church, and then her body was taken back to be buried in a special place in her garden. The hearse carrying her body moved along slowly, followed by the relatives and friends, the women and children in cars, and the men on foot.

One of Mrs Black's cousins saw a poorly dressed man following the hearse and crying bitterly.

The cousin said to him kindly, "Were you a relative of the dead woman too?"

"No," the man answered.

"Then why are you crying?" the dead woman's relative asked.

"That's exactly why I'm crying," the poorly dressed man answered.

 

[dr.javaheri]

It was very difficult to find jobs in the north-east of England, and when john lost his, he found it impossible to get a new one. He had soon spent all his money, so he decided to go down to the south of the country, where he had heard that things were better, and that it was easier to find work. The best way to go was by train, so he went to the railway station and got into a train which was going to London.

He was the only passenger in his compartment when another man burst in carrying a gun and said to him, "Your money, or your life!"

"I haven't got a penny." John answered in fright.

"Then why are you trembling so much?" the man with the gun asked angrily.

"Because I thought you were the ticket-collector, and I haven't even got a ticket," answered John.

 

[dr.javaheri]

Mr Grey liked shooting very much, but he did not get much practice at shooting wild animals, and he was not very good at it. One of his troubles was that his eyes were not very good and he had to wear glasses. When it rained and his glasses got wet, he could not see very well.

One day he was invited to go out shooting bears in the mountains. It was rather a rainy day, and by mistake Mr Grey shot at one of the other hunters and hit him in the leg.

There was a court case about this, and at in the lawyer for the other man said, "Why did you shoot at Mr Robinson?"

Mr Grey answered, "I thought that he was a bear."

"When did you realize that you were wrong?" the lawyer asked.

"When the bear began to shoot back at me." Mr Grey answered

 

[dr.javaheri]

Army camps always have to be guarded, of course, to make sure that nobody goes in or out without permission, otherwise soldiers could go out when they were not supposed to, and anybody could come in at any time and cause all sorts of trouble.

There is usually a guard composed of several soldiers at each gate, and the men is the guard take turns to stand at the gate with a gun and stop everyone who wants to go in or out to see their passes. The man on guard is told to say, "Halt! Who goes there?" if anyone comes towards the gate.

A soldier was guarding the gate of a camp at night when he heard a sound in the dark. "Halt! Who goes there?" he shouted nervously.

"Nobody," a voice answered.

The soldier thought for a few seconds and then said, "Well-is there anyone with you?"